The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
