I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
how drunk are you?
Several
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
