TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Houston, we have a squirter
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
