We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize