I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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