i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize