they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
