And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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