so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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