why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
