Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
