Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize