apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
