i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
