we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
