5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
