No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
