You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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