the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize