just come out here and I will go home with you...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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