That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
