worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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