I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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