i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
