Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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