But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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