tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
