On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
