wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
