there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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