Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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