I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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