this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
