you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
