So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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