So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize