I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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