I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
there is puke in my bra ... again
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