I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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