No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
