My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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