The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
