It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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