As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
