Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
