why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
