I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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