I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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