We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize