Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize