the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
