I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
