You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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