I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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