...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
