I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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