what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
