dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Of course I have a pirate flag
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
