She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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