Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
