i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
