hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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