I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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