I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
